What if we have power?

I was just imagining some time if we had power... :D ya power to go back to past and go to future. Oh man, I think then both nostalgia and fantasies will not have a moment of excistance. May be none of our fantacies might be perfect nor as good as we feel about it. Fantacies we change every time when we win the destination of our fantacy, we just kill that and start fantacying something different from that. 

 Nostalgia is much safer in this sense. We can't go back and reach the situation when we feel the best time of our life. So we won't be able to realize that we don't really want the same. May be I think its so close with the thought that we need to learn to live today... 

Happy that I don't have the power so that I feel I don't have a better tomorrow or didn't had a better past and live for 'something'....

A New Year, Are we really interested?

I am seeing that one new year is approaching us. But I am really confused seeing people. Are we really waiting for a whole year? I guess a lot of us are really busy and not really thinking we have a whole year ahead. I feel like we becoming more more ambitious. We wanna become a lot in minimum time. Are we bored of what we are? I see most people want to be millionires in a day or so. They don't want to be like this... work hard to meet their expenses. We wanna be rich so that we can be lazy? I am hearing a lot of people talking very similar topic. They have loan which they want to close soon. I think its really good that these people have loans and pending amounts... Other wise they gonna sit idle and will reduce the productivity that much. 

So let me wish all people have a hard year so that we get used to with living hard paths... 

I still need more walks...

I used to think I am powerful and I can really take any real bad situations. Used to be a person who show to take things so lightly. When people tell of job cuts, I used to be smiling and saying if there is job cut in my company or my profession, still there are lot of option, try another company or may be even another job. Live accordingly. When it was Mumbai explosion too I heard some people feeling too much and I was scolding them saying 'why is this much big cry?' Whats logic in thinking what will happen if I am accused someday of some terrorism? what will be the result of dangerous situations? Won't it make our land filled with suspicious eyes? 'Let it happen we will see when it happens'.. Anyway we can't stop the time when we have to die... Until then it's waste to live fearing of it....

Last day some how I was just sitting bored @ office and though of song of movie 'Kannathil Muthamittal' named 'Vidai Kodu Engal Naadae'... I loved the music for the song as it was kinda senti song... I downloaded the song and checked for lyrics just to read as I was sitting bored anyway. Then I read in a site english translation and lyrics. English translation really strike me so fast and make me read whole. 

http://www.lankanewspapers.com/news/2008/8/31867_space.html

O our motherland, Bid us a farewell 

The house whose entrance is cleaned by the sea 

O our palmyra trees... O birds` nests 

will we ever meet again? 

We buried our smiles in our lips 

We buried our life in our bodies 

We are making a procession like empty skeletons.... 

Even with the rags,is there any pleasure 

better than lying on the lap of the mother? 

Even if we go to heaven, will there be freedom 

as our own village and cities! 

The land we opened our eyes is there! 

Where is the land, where we will close our eyes? 

Lets separate, O rivers... We`ll be back if we survive

If our motherland calls us again, we will come back 

we are seeing the land of our birth with teary eyes, 

for the last time 

We lost our music in the cries of our children 

We buried our moon in the smoke and fumes generated by the bombs 

Early in the night, we were enjoying the flowers 

Later in the night, we were torn by the thorns 

O our Sea birds we will meet again if we are alive, 

O blue skies, forests and mountains, 

we will meet again if we are alive 

We carry less on our head but our heart heavily 

burdened, as we leave! 

vidai kodu engaL naadE 

kadal vaasal theLikkum veedE 

panai mara kaadE, paRavaigaL koodE 

maRumuRai oru muRai paarpoama? 

udhattil punnagai pudhaithoam 

uyirai udambukkuL pudhaithoam 

veRum koodugaL mattum oorvalam pogindroam 

kandhal aanaalum thaay madi poal 

oru sugham varuma? varuma? 

soRgam sendraalum sondha oor poal 

oru sudhandhiram varuma? varuma? 

kaN thiRandha dhesam angae 

kaN moodum dhesam engae? 

pirivoam nadhigaLae pizhaithaal varugiRoam 

meeNdum thaayagam azhaithaal varugiRoam 

kaNNeer thiRaiyil piRandha maNNai 

kadaisiyaaga paarkindroam 

engaL sangeetham piLLaiyin azhugaiyilae tholaithoam 

engaL iLam thingaL vedikuNdu pudhaiyilae pudhaithoam 

mun nilavil malaril kidandhoam, 

pin iravil muLLil kizhindhoam 

kadal neer paRavai dhaan irundhaal sandhippoam 

vanamae malaigaLae vaazhndhaal sandhippoam 

thalaiyil konjam nenjil adhigam 

sumaigaL sumandhu poagindroam 

It suddenly made me remember my chat friend whom I just had talk for few days... She used to tell fight wont ever stop and is bad situation. Really I just started imagining how it will be not sure whether we will return back in the evening or not. It's not just death... it's more than that. Even if we see few people in next bus is killed in a blast or so, we have to continue our daily things as it's somewhat common thing. I don't care who wins or whoz true. But both set of people will be suffering from the outcome. I don't know such a nice place of budhist be place of bloods... Would I be cool and calm if situations around me were like this? I don't think so at all... I get frustrated sometimes with the 'stupid' horns itself :)... and I think I am soo cool with situations... Really I am stupid and very sensitive person and I just know I am not that brave... 

Each time when people fwd mails saying if you fwd this mail for 15 people, you will get your wish granted... I am gonna send 100 people wishing fights in Lanka and other place be over soon... and no on lose their own mother and mother land...

How long should I wait for the dog days?

Of course I just know, even though they said it will come, days of these won't come any day. A day of dreams? Truely difficult. 

On a fine after noon after my lunch, I was just heading for my usual walk. I just stopped as I met on of my friend on the way and we were just talking and saw one girl who was on a activa and zooming overtaking some people with a great speed. Suddenly he was saying he will really feel angry if some woman do the same infront of his bike and will overtake back as soon as possible. I don't have the same angry usually as I am not that passionate about bike. But may be I will have similar feeling if some woman walks faster than me :)

Some where or the other its deeply written inside that woman are not capable of doing things better than men, though it's sure the whole concept is wrong in its roots. Lot of times when we go on a bike without any need for speed, if some woman overtake our bike, will really feel to ride faster and overtake and go faster than that girl or woman. So mostly I feel slowest bike of any man will be faster than fastest woman's bike as it's kinda ego clash :) A woman overtaking me means I m too weak that even women started overtaking me :) Yep it's so old a egoist approach some human had and it's still with me... When will I change?

When I was about to post this, I had a feel like it's bit rude to write about this as it's bad to openly say about this stupid thought... But it's really a truth that exists and I don't really find a reason to be hypocrite. I am just trying to fight back against any trace I can find inside my mind which supports or cater this ego :) 

Anyway I just wrote this to make myself count the days towards that dog days, a day when people are seen as people and not as classifications...  not as woman or man, not as black or white, nor as poor or rich, and stop deciding how they should live :) So I am just waiting here looking towards my own mind to see when I change really to a human than mere a man :)

Most amazing moment...

I guess in my life I see lot of varieties of people. But I may be able to have a classification which will make the whole lot to two groups.

1. Those we see often and has to talk sometimes.
2. Those we like to meet and spend time and talk

First group can range from enemies to people who are observing and who might change to second group any time. We have to say a hi or might have to have a smile for them though we know we don't want to waste them. Even bad is when we have to talk for sometime as we will be in trouble finding some interesting common topic. Mostly it will end with health, family, work etc. 

Second group is those we meet someday and feel so happy spending time and talk. You will be able to be free with them. Will feel they are so close and part of your soul itself.. mostly close friends or so.

Worst life of a person is when he has to live with a first group person and best moments of life will be the time we get to spend with second group person whether it's a life time or just a moment.

CEO was killed by sacked employee

First reaction which I had when I saw this news was a smile... An employee lost his job and he killed his boss.. Now what he actually lost? job which was supposed to keep his life or his life itself? :) Of course, he lost a lot more than life. May be I am wrong as there are a lot of big people who lived and dead for some ideas. Was those works based on emotions? I don't know. 

We have a lot of things which we gain by our job. A secure life, a cool place to stay, a good car to travel and nice hang outs etc. We get a lot of respect from others too... We get used to these things and feel these are needed for our life. And without these we can't live. May be it's little difficult to live without these. But it's not an impossible thing. So lot of times it's extremely stupid when we waste our life for those things which fill our life. So I guess it's entirely different from those who left their life for others.

When that day will come?

"You, do you remember me?,

Like, I remember you?"

This is few lines from one of my favourite songs. We can hear as much songs and make some favourites. But to feel them in personal life means a lot. You will really love this moment even though it's really painful. Also this is the last time you can having this feel - the moment of suspense and waiting. Until the day when my prayer was granted and "our path's soon will cross"...

To see a person and get interested is much common. But it will be bad if you meet a person on a sudden fine morning and you get a so much interest in half and hour... and worst is when you get such a feel for a person whom usual people won't find an ideal match with you. Ya, They say so... "You should stand as a different person. Be a rose in dalia field" But its really horrible. 

You will meet the person and talk for half and hour and you will feel "this is the person... the best person... just the type I am looking for... " and you have to leave and go away. Now each time you might be refreshing your mail box... looking at your mobile whether it was a call or msg?... ya another hope that this is the day which our paths may cross each other... but.... it just leaves my eyes to ache...